Paris: The City of Lights!

Paris is more beautiful, amazing, and jam packed than I could have possibly imagined! There is something in the air in this city, almost magical. I know, it sounds cheesy (and to be honest--it sort of is) but Paris has a character all it's own. I stayed at my friend Justin's apartment while he traveled around Europe for his remaining semester abroad. So, now...here I am in a city where I know one person and he is leaving the next day: what am I going to do here? And on top of that, how am I going to adjust to life outside of Russia? The first few days were bizarre for me, not in a bad way, just in a 'ah-I-can't-believe-I'm-not-in-Russia-anymore' sort of way. In essenc: Culture Shock. Luckily, my friend Natasha from O.C. was studying abroad at Oxford and arrived in Paris the same day Justin left to have a weekend away from school. It was so encouraging to have a friend with me for my first couple of days in Paris. I felt bad for her though, because she had to deal with me not knowing how to function exactly in western thinking society again...and I'm pretty sure almost all of my conversations started with: 'In Russia_____.' I hope I wasn't to annoying with my Russia talk...I tried to keep it at bar. Natasha and I went to all the tourist-y spots like the Eiffel Tower, Sacre La Cœur, and the Luxemburg Jardin. But one important thing that we did was go to Hillsong Paris, where I was able to be connected with a bunch of university students and a life group for support for the next two weeks in Paris. I was so grateful to not be alone anymore, although the alone time did give me the ability to connect with God and the city and disconnect with life in Russia--which is more difficult that I would like to admit.

My first Wednesday night, I went to Hillsongs Connect group and met Zoe, and au pair from Australia, and Kate, a university student from Ohio, as well as Adam and Clement and so many others. Kate and I really hit it off and we went to the Louvre and the catacombs together as well as The Mix and some other hot spots in Paris with her friends from school. It was so reviving to have a girls night again, get dressed up and go out and have fun with other Christians. It was the first time in a long time that I was able to build a friendship out of a legitimate connection verses a forced school program. In any case, Kate and I spent almost everyday together and got to know each other very well. Zoe and I, as well, were able to build a good relationship. God really blessed my time Paris, and I was able to see the Champs Elysees, the Andy Warhol exhibit, Musee D'Orsay and so much more. I was truly wonderful trip, and the perfect transition from Russia to Aix. Adam, who works with Hillsong, was so helpful the morning the I left Paris for Aix, he came and helped me with all of my luggage to get to the train station. I don't think I would have been able to do it without his help. God's family--my family--have genuinely been here for me throughout this whole time I have been abroad. Then I got on the train heading towards Aix-en-Provence, and a whole new adventure awaits!

On the Train to Paris!

April 30, 2009
Dear Glorious Heavenly Father,
O Lord, I am at this very moment I am at this very moment looking out the window of my comfort level seat on a speed train to PARIS!!!!! Right now, the train is going through the most scenic German villages with majestic steep hills blanketed in the freshest spring green trees and moist rich soil. I can almost smell the moister in the air. I am proud of the fact that I was able to not only make it from the airport to the train hub, and then from there to get on the correct train—on time might I add—and found my seat without an embarrassing story. I did have yet ANOTHER panic attack when I received a pamphlet that had 8 different listings—and for a good 10 minutes I was under the impression that there was more than one stop in Paris, and I would not be able to find Justin. I asked the attendant and he said that there is only one stop in Paris, and those are connecting trains and their times. Whew! I’m going to ask one more time, just to make sure so I am not literally a stranded American girl without a place to stay and not knowing where to go. I pray that Justin will be safe and come and meet me. Keep me protected as I travel, this is just a tad scary and exciting and amazing. I can’t get over the fact that I’m in Germany right now, and will soon be in the city of Love: PARIS. This all feels like a dream, and this is going to be my new home. Wow, how this life is turning out is not at all what I actually thought would happen. Sure, of course I have thought about living abroad, but the opportunity never presented itself, and now I am just one step and one click away to making this dream a reality. God, all signs are pointing towards this, and it’s not that it is scaring me in a negative way—quite the opposite actually—it’s scaring me in the ‘WOW, this can’t be happening’ kind of feeling.
I am now embarking on the newest chapter on my new international life as an adult. This is huge. The fact that I am on this train, with only You to rely on. It’s like I am experiencing that split moment when one is standing in the door way of a plane with You as my jump partner and two parachutes attached. I know I’m safe, but it’s a leap of faith for the rest of the ride. I know that I will enjoy the fall more than anything and knowing that You’re the one that is holding me the whole time guiding a protecting me is the most IMPORTANT thing. I love You, and I am going to continue to enjoy the view and watch Gossip Girl, read trashy magazines and listen to music. Again, I pray for protection. I love You.
In Your Son’s Holy Name,
Amen.
Aimee Winnik

It's No Problem; It's Normal

Snow in spring
And kemps on Sundays
Busses with no capacity limits
And wild birds freely flying
Around the grocery store
Fur hats that look like wigs
Babushkas’ with blue and purple hair
And the eye make-up to match
Musicals about the English language - In Russian

No toilet seats or toilet paper to be found
Women in stiletto heels
While in the heart of a blizzard
Keys that operate as weapons
If one so chooses
Staring contest with complete strangers
Alcohol as medicine
And drafts are held responsible for every known illness

Butter is the meal
Food is just a condiment
Tea is consumed at all hours
And trash cans are not necessary
That is what the ground is for.
Flowers in only odd numbers
Decorate the arms of the men
Who are on their way
To woo their girlfriends

Ice cream is only acceptably devoured
In the sub-zero climate
Clapping is done in unison
How else is it done?
Dogs are free to do as they wish
And anywhere one goes
The lines do not exist:
Neither on the street or in a store
The customer is always wrong
And cars are always right

Coffee shops are bars
And discos stay open all night
Or more correctly…all morning
Outdoor sewage systems
And indoor smoking
Scrunchies are trendy and pleather shoes are chic
Mirrors in every hall way
And coat checks at every establishment
Fleets of stairs constructed of steps confused in height and length
Plastic bags are not only practical
But they are fashionable as well
Smiling is frowned upon
But it’s no problem, it’s normal.

Saint Petersburg

These are from my prayer journal:

April 21, 2009
Dear Father,
Today was interesting, and I thank You for everything it included…even if sickness was present during most of the day…I still managed to push through and appreciate this wonderful city of Saint Petersburg. The day went on and we walked to the metro station and from there to a bus stop—but the buses were taking longer than expected so we walked to the Bronze Horseman statue and took around, let me just round up, 500 pictures at the very least. I was freezing and started getting a headache. I walked to the Winter Palace/Hermitage and I couldn’t believe my eyes! It was bigger than I could have even imagined and the sun was shining—it was magnificent. I felt well enough to take some amazing photographs and walk around inside the Museum/Palace for an hour. I left and walked around for another hour and then met up with Debbie to walk around the city and take in the beautiful sights. We also got me a calling card so I could call my mom and make sure that the train tickets to Paris were on their way…considering that they haven’t made it to the hotel yet, Harley and myself began to worry. Mom assured me that they are on their way and should be in the hotel within the next few days. Whew!Tomorrow we go to a Russian Museum and then free for the rest of the day. I am hoping to do a little shopping and sightseeing. There is so much to do here. It truly is a beautiful city and I am so grateful for all this, Lord, it is too much. Thank you for your guidance and reassurance in everything. I love you, and I pray that I am able to keep you at the center of all that I do, so that it is a representation of your perfect will. I pray for Vanguard University. Please be with the Dean and Provost/President Taylor. I pray for all the staff and students there. I pray for the graduates of 2009! That You continue to lead them in your way and that they are relying on You. I lastly pray for healing on my body so that I am able to soak in all the beauty of this city and this country for these next 8 days. I pray all the students at Nizhini Novgorod. I pray that You bless them all, they all have shown us love. I love You Father, and I thank You, for all things—seen and unseen.

In Your Son’s Holy Name I pray,

Amen.
Aimee Winnik

April 25, 2009
Dear Dad,
I have to stay back in the hotel for half the day today. I feel like a child being punished; and maybe I should be feeling this way. Yesterday we went to the one of the 5 Summer Palaces of the Tsars – it was magnificent, so beautiful and ornately decorated with gold moldings and silk wall papers and individually painted portraits of the different family members that lived there or visited. After our tour of the palace we had lunch and then we were free to walk about the serene park that Catherine the Great designed. There was an enormous lake with individual islands sprinkled throughout. There was still ice covering the lake, but the birds enjoyed it, walking about on the water and having people through bread out to them. Emily and I walked around the entire lake, while she depicted her favorite Russian Fairy tale that she read for her research paper. We eventually came to discover a large bridge that went over a road that had a giant crown on top, we walked all the way up to it and took some fun pictures. On our way back, I asked her about her older sister – who suffered from depression in her early college life while Emily was still in high school. It was interesting to reflect on how it affected her family and hearing the other side of the story – for I only know the view from the one suffering FROM depression and not completely aware of it’s effect on the rest of the family. After our walk, we all met up as a group and walked to the train station and went back to the hotel. Harley escorted me to the magnet and got me some chicken bouillon and bread and crackers – to see if that would stay down. Some of it did…and some of it didn’t.
I woke up this morning with my stomach still gurgling a little, so I ate some crackers and got ready for the day—which is probably our busiest day here! St. Isaac’s Cathedral, then “The Idiot” restaurant, then Yussupovs Private Palace, and then The Russian Circus!I am seriously sick of being sick here...I was told to stay back for the morning, which was so frustrating because I wanted to go so badly. I met up with the rest of the group at lunch and enjoyed the rest of the day. The Idiot cafe was adorable and it was nice to see the enormous Yussupovs Palace...that is the family that killed Rasputin! Crazy! Then off to the Russian Circus, which was by far one of the funniest things I have seen: snakes, horses, alligators, birds, sealions, and so much more! One of the perplexing parts was a show where the couple changed their costumes 40+ times infront of us...like every time they took something off it just revealed a new outfit underneath, it was pretty insane.
There was one concern that crossed my mind today: What am I going to do all alone in Paris? haha, What am I thinking going to a city where I know NO ONE except one person? Well I know I'll explore, of course, but by myself? No, I will explore with You! You know Paris better than any tour guide. I will also be looking for modeling work, maybe which will be a good opportunity for me. Please be with me while I do so, I know that You are always with me, but make my soul obvious to Your presence. Lord, there are so many different avenues ahead of me, and I’m not entirely sure which one I am supposed to take. Each one is so pivotal, and they are lined up back to back to each other within just a few weeks at points…show me the way. I love You Lord, and I thank You for all these wonderful difficult decisions. I would not be able to have all of these opportunities to grow closer to you and mature more in my walk with You if I wasn’t given the chance to wrestle with these dilemmas. I pray for Natasha, as she continues to find her footing within her study abroad program, and I pray for Dani as she is in Florida—growing closer to You. I pray for Erik as he continues to work with the ICCP church, and the Jones’ as they are embarking on new work opportunities to bless Your name. I pray for my mother, and for my step-father and my sister. I pray that you continue to bless and take care of them—and I thank You for the blessing that You have bestowed upon the relationship between my mother and I. We don’t see eye to eye all the time, or even most of the time, but we have come a LONG way when looking back 6 months ago. I pray for Jim and Michelle, I love them so much and I thank You for blessing me with the ability to know them. I love You Lord, and I pray that You allow my heart, spirit, body, and mind are all focused on You and glorifying You in all that I do, say, and think.
In Jesus' Name I pray,
Amen.
This is just a journal entry:

April 27, 2009
It is hard to believe that in 3 days I’m going to Paris to visit Justin—who is also picking me up from the train station and shortly after I’m going to be interning this summer in Aix It’s as if all the stars aligned or something, but I felt an overwhelming sense of blissful contentment. It felt odd, though. I’m probably just anticipating the bottom to drop out, as it typically does. I was reminded today, while I was walking through the park on the way to see if the bears were in the park by the Bronze Horseman, of the fact that God is GOOD, that it is in God's character to do good. I guess trusting in that is more difficult—or perhaps more easy than I thought, that isn't confusing at all :) I assume that things are supposed to be hard and painful in order for good to happen. But now that I think about it, the times that I experience pain I am not relying on you and I’m being brought back closer to God for support. I have been completely reliant on God while I've been here in Russia. Today I went on a wonderful day boat ride around the canals and to a missionary’s bible school run by a man named Garth Muller. He was such an interesting guy, he truly loves the Russian people. I am glad I was able to hear his story. Well, off to bed! Spoky Noky!

Departing for St.Petersburg...

August 19, 2009

Today is difficult. Not only am I saying good bye to my Russian family, the city, and my life here, but also to the people who have become my friends. I started to loose it whn I was on the bus going to the RSP apartment for the last time--looking at the beautifully run down style the city possesses. The sun barely shining through the grey cloud and cool wind. Even though it was 2 pm, it always feels and looks like it is breaking dawn whenever the sun is accompanied by the thick covering of clouds and the ever present freezing temperature. Once I got back home--because that is what it has become--I spent my last hour there with my Russian family watching August Rush and having my last cup of chai with them. Then it was time for me to leave. I got my things together, and was on my way out the door, and then it hit me! My sister and Papa were not going to the train station with my mama and I...but I didn't have enough time to react. I hugged and kissed them goodbye and headed out the door, with mama repeating "nyet plakid. Krassney nos" = which means "no crying, red nose". I pulled it together and made my way to the train station, where we were greeted by 50+ Russian students from the International Office, and every one's Russian Families. It was so painful to stand there, knowing that in a few moments we would be departing for St. Petersburg. The last 5 min, I spent hugging a kissing everyone goodbye. I got onto the train, and stared out the window, looking on the close friends I made: and then I lost it. Katya and Marina put their hands up to the window, and it was just the one of many steps of separation that we would be experiencing: first a window apart, then a few hours apart, and then countries apart; timezones apart, and eventually life-spans apart. I was balling. I saw my Mama waving a white tissue and touching her nose repeating "Krassney nos"...The train started to depart and the whole crowd of our friends and family chased the train until they couldn't keep up any more. I wanted to sleep and pretend none of it just happened. Could it have been a more perfectly painful goodbye? I don't believe so. It was exquisitely heart wrenching and exceptionally beautiful. I praise God for all the amazing experiences that I was able to take part in these past 4 months. I am also glad that I was able to be present in the moment here, as painful as it was, I'm grateful that I had to ability to feel it.

April 20, 2009

Yesterday was my last day in Nizhini and I cried; and, to be brutally honest, I didn’t cry enough. There is something so beautiful in the release of those emotions that I so meticulously pin up inside. It always takes a dramatic event to force me to confront the reality of where I am, and most importantly, what I haven’t dealt with. I took two sleeping pills on the train to St. Petersburg and went to sleep – partially hoping that when I woke up I would be back in Nizhini and all of this wasn’t really ending. But no such luck. Instead, however, I did get a wonderful wake-up call around 3 A.M. with a Russian intercom announcing “MOSCOW TO SAINT PETERSBURG! MOSCOW TO SAINT PETERSBURG! MOSCOW TO SAINT PETERSBURG!” for a good 10-15 minutes. It didn’t completely wake me up from my drugged sleep, but it did annoy me enough to recognize the fact that it was happing. I then I woke up at 9 am to get ready to depart from the train and check into our hotel. Once I got off the train, the sun was out—as well as the powerful bone-chilling wind that accompanied it, which hit me in the face like a punch. We walked to our nice comfy charter bus and shipped off to our hotel. Emily and I are rooming together, which is very exciting, because I had wanted to get to know her better before we all separated from each other for what could very well be forever. The room Emily and I received at first wasn’t big enough for our luggage…let alone us! So Seth and Matt offered to trade rooms with us. YES! I am so grateful for their generosity. The rooms are still peculiar—they have two beds, with two nightstands, a desk…but then it gets strange—a sink and mirror right there next to the desk and no bath room! We have to use the bathroom at the end of the hall and the shower at the end of the other hall. Good old Russia never fails to amuse me! After getting somewhat settled in we went on a bus tour of St. Petersburg. It is a BEAUTIFUL city. I don’t feel like I am in Russia…not really. The architecture of the buildings here are Western European, and there are so many canals…and Saint Petersburg is rightly called the “Venice of the North.” I am looking forward to living here and exploring this wonderful city for the next 10 days.

What Language Do I Speak Again? Oh. ya. Frenghlissian

Coming soon:
1. Saint Petersburg
2. Good Byes
3. Traveling
4. Paris
-- Day 1: Settling in
-- Day 2: Gardens
-- Day 3: Natasha Visits!

Good Bye Nizhini Novgorod

This week has been so official! The Russians want to properly send us off…and that has included (but not limited to):
1) An official departing meeting with all our teachers, faculty and students of the international office, and all the American students.
2) The going away party last night, with an entire hour of performances by both the Russians in the international office and us, the American students
3) A final Bon Fire this afternoon – which I didn’t go to and instead went to the salon with my Mom and got my nails done, and then got my hair chopped off—it took all my energy NOT to cry right then and there…
4) Tonight is Easter service at 12 am for the Eastern Orthodox Church tonight…
5) Final good bye to Calvary Nizhini
6) The final good bye from the International Office students and faculty (aka Galina) at the Train station at 5:15 pm tomorrow…
I have seriously had enough of the goodbyes. It breaks my heart to think that there is very REAL possibility that I will never see these people again. Nikita, Jenya, Lena, LyaLya (Mama), Papa, Natasha, Rustik, Katya, Marina, Katya, Anya, Olga, Mischa, Mischa, Roma, Anya…and SO many others! They have had a profound impact on my life here, on my impressions of Russia, and how I will express how and what I learned here. This is too real, too hard, and too severe. Why does it have to end? It doesn’t really feel like I JUST got here, but it does feel like I have belonged here. Even on the days that have felt mundane, and—let’s be honest, boring—it all has been an exceptional experience. Yesterday morning, I got up and carried all of the things that I no longer want to keep to leave here in Russia, and more specifically—Debbie’s. From there I took a bus, and walked in my heels (I am now formally a Russian woman) with all of my things to Debbie’s apartment. From there I got ready, went to the last meeting and received my diploma from Nizhini Novgorod University. Nikita said a few words that resonated in my head, he said, “We will always remember you, Russia will always remember you. You are written on the heart of Russia, and you can now call Russia your second Motherland.” Last night was so much fun—if I ignored the fact that this was the last time I was going to be seeing the majority of these people—I performed in a traditional Russian dance, and I messed up but I didn’t really mind, at least I got to take part. I was surprised a couple of days ago that I was going to be in a skit for the last party, it played off the fact that I participated in the pseudo-Russian wedding early in the semester. Anya, Anya, and I were three princesses who were looking for our future husbands…and of course! Jenya was mine, Evan was blonde Anya’s, and Matt and brunette Anya’s. We each had our own stories…however, all the princes had to throw a shoe over their shoulders (Old Russian superstition) and where ever the shoe landed, that’s where they would find their true love/wife. Evan had to follow the sound of the music to find his bride. Matt had to follow the dancers to his. My story was cute…apparently I am a princess who many suitors want to marry—but I am very picky, and I will only marry the one who fits the shoe that I have found. Jenya comes, and says “That’s my shoe!” He tries it on, it fits (hypothetically, actually it didn’t really fit, which was a relief because it gave him less reason to convince me that we are meant to be in reality), and we live happily ever after. It was great. All of our Russian families were there. My mom was there with her sister and her daughter (Kristina). Lena had an exam and Papa was working, but it was great to see all them there! Mama stayed until the very end of the party and we took the bus home together. She takes such good care of me. When we got home she told me that she will fix the holes I had in my shirt and wash all my clothes before I depart for Saint Petersburg. She is always making sure that I look good, whether it be that my shoes need cleaning, or there is smudge on my shirt, or the bag that I am holding is unattractive, so she gives me her purse instead…it is really all about appearances here. The past couple of days have been pretty cold – in the negatives once again. Before that we had 4-5 days of +15 to +5 degree weather and I even broke out my spring coats that I wasn’t anticipating on wearing until I got to France! Last night I packed up ALL of my stuff and went through all of my papers that I am going to need, and not need. There is so much room in my luggage, which is great because that leaves enough room for souvenirs from here and France.
Today is an interesting day…waking up and know that it is the last time will be waking up in this bed—that this is my last who day here in the city that I have resided in for the past 3 months…the sun isn’t shinning, and it snowed a little, rained a little, and there is a pretty consistent wind blowing. It’s as if Nizhini is saying goodbye to me too, letting me experience the cold one more time (as if I could forget) and engraving it’s trademark characteristics on my before I leave. Thank you, Nizhini Novgorod, for your sub-zero temperatures, warm people, icy sidewalks, the winter seasons, and the impending spring, dilapidated wooden homes, graffiti walls, muddy streets, littered alleys, and the in numerous high rise ghetto apartment buildings with their metal barred windows and dirt speckled walls. You have been an excellent city, and I wouldn’t change one thing about you. Thank you for welcoming me, having me and teaching me—even though at times I was chewed up and spit out, I held on and didn’t break down. You have taught me that suffering is not bad, but constructive in how to live properly. Thank you Nizhini, God has used you in a powerful way in my life, and the instruction I have received here will go on to all those I encounter. Thank you God, for this wonderful city, and may you continue to bless the people here.