Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Good Bye Nizhini Novgorod







This week has been so official! The Russians want to properly send us off…and that has included (but not limited to):
1) An official departing meeting with all our teachers, faculty and students of the international office, and all the American students.
2) The going away party last night, with an entire hour of performances by both the Russians in the international office and us, the American students
3) A final Bon Fire this afternoon – which I didn’t go to and instead went to the salon with my Mom and got my nails done, and then got my hair chopped off—it took all my energy NOT to cry right then and there…
4) Tonight is Easter service at 12 am for the Eastern Orthodox Church tonight…
5) Final good bye to Calvary Nizhini
6) The final good bye from the International Office students and faculty (aka Galina) at the Train station at 5:15 pm tomorrow…
I have seriously had enough of the goodbyes. It breaks my heart to think that there is very REAL possibility that I will never see these people again. Nikita, Jenya, Lena, LyaLya (Mama), Papa, Natasha, Rustik, Katya, Marina, Katya, Anya, Olga, Mischa, Mischa, Roma, Anya…and SO many others! They have had a profound impact on my life here, on my impressions of Russia, and how I will express how and what I learned here. This is too real, too hard, and too severe. Why does it have to end? It doesn’t really feel like I JUST got here, but it does feel like I have belonged here. Even on the days that have felt mundane, and—let’s be honest, boring—it all has been an exceptional experience. Yesterday morning, I got up and carried all of the things that I no longer want to keep to leave here in Russia, and more specifically—Debbie’s. From there I took a bus, and walked in my heels (I am now formally a Russian woman) with all of my things to Debbie’s apartment. From there I got ready, went to the last meeting and received my diploma from Nizhini Novgorod University. Nikita said a few words that resonated in my head, he said, “We will always remember you, Russia will always remember you. You are written on the heart of Russia, and you can now call Russia your second Motherland.” Last night was so much fun—if I ignored the fact that this was the last time I was going to be seeing the majority of these people—I performed in a traditional Russian dance, and I messed up but I didn’t really mind, at least I got to take part. I was surprised a couple of days ago that I was going to be in a skit for the last party, it played off the fact that I participated in the pseudo-Russian wedding early in the semester. Anya, Anya, and I were three princesses who were looking for our future husbands…and of course! Jenya was mine, Evan was blonde Anya’s, and Matt and brunette Anya’s. We each had our own stories…however, all the princes had to throw a shoe over their shoulders (Old Russian superstition) and where ever the shoe landed, that’s where they would find their true love/wife. Evan had to follow the sound of the music to find his bride. Matt had to follow the dancers to his. My story was cute…apparently I am a princess who many suitors want to marry—but I am very picky, and I will only marry the one who fits the shoe that I have found. Jenya comes, and says “That’s my shoe!” He tries it on, it fits (hypothetically, actually it didn’t really fit, which was a relief because it gave him less reason to convince me that we are meant to be in reality), and we live happily ever after. It was great. All of our Russian families were there. My mom was there with her sister and her daughter (Kristina). Lena had an exam and Papa was working, but it was great to see all them there! Mama stayed until the very end of the party and we took the bus home together. She takes such good care of me. When we got home she told me that she will fix the holes I had in my shirt and wash all my clothes before I depart for Saint Petersburg. She is always making sure that I look good, whether it be that my shoes need cleaning, or there is smudge on my shirt, or the bag that I am holding is unattractive, so she gives me her purse instead…it is really all about appearances here. The past couple of days have been pretty cold – in the negatives once again. Before that we had 4-5 days of +15 to +5 degree weather and I even broke out my spring coats that I wasn’t anticipating on wearing until I got to France! Last night I packed up ALL of my stuff and went through all of my papers that I am going to need, and not need. There is so much room in my luggage, which is great because that leaves enough room for souvenirs from here and France.
Today is an interesting day…waking up and know that it is the last time will be waking up in this bed—that this is my last who day here in the city that I have resided in for the past 3 months…the sun isn’t shinning, and it snowed a little, rained a little, and there is a pretty consistent wind blowing. It’s as if Nizhini is saying goodbye to me too, letting me experience the cold one more time (as if I could forget) and engraving it’s trademark characteristics on my before I leave. Thank you, Nizhini Novgorod, for your sub-zero temperatures, warm people, icy sidewalks, the winter seasons, and the impending spring, dilapidated wooden homes, graffiti walls, muddy streets, littered alleys, and the in numerous high rise ghetto apartment buildings with their metal barred windows and dirt speckled walls. You have been an excellent city, and I wouldn’t change one thing about you. Thank you for welcoming me, having me and teaching me—even though at times I was chewed up and spit out, I held on and didn’t break down. You have taught me that suffering is not bad, but constructive in how to live properly. Thank you Nizhini, God has used you in a powerful way in my life, and the instruction I have received here will go on to all those I encounter. Thank you God, for this wonderful city, and may you continue to bless the people here.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Good Bye Profilac, Hello Russian Family!








I just recently moved out of the Profilactory, which was the dormitory I was living in for the past eight weeks. I am now residing with my Russian family that consists of my Mama and my Sistra and my Papa. It is a three bedroom apartment on the top level. I genuinely feel part of their family. They treat as if I was really their daughter, and go out of their way (at least from my western perspective) to make me comfortable. I have learned, however, that the Russian culture is extremely communal, and it is embedded in their nature to look out and care for one another, even if they are a complete stranger. I am not sure how exactly I feel at any given moment here in Russia so far...Everyday is a new experience, a new conversation, a new discovery. It is as if I were a sponge in a river, simply soaking up everything that comes at me. Only time will tell all that I have learned from Russia, and the lessons that it has bestowed upon me.
At the moment, I am winding down on classes. Today was the last day of Russian language, and Russia in Transition seminar. Next week is my accumulative final for Russian Language AND all of my seminar classes, as well as my 15 page research paper. I may just cry from all the pressure this coming weekend and week are going to push me too, but I know that God only tests me as much as I can bear, so I will trust in Him and press forward and work hard.
I am finding it difficult to look at the here and now, when there is so much coming up in my life in the next 4 months!After Wednesday, our RSP group will have its last 5 days in this beautiful city that we have all come to know and love as Nizhini Novgorod, and depart from our Russian friends and family and travel on a 16 hour train ride to St.Petersburg, where we will be tourists once again, and spend our last 10 days in Russia (and together). I have cultivated amazing friendships on this journey, and will dearly miss every single person I have met. I know that for the rest of our lives, we will always be bound together through our experience here in Russia.
From there we leave on April 30th and fly to Frankfurt. It is there I will say goodbye to my fellow RSPers and travel to Paris and then in three weeks I will go to Aix-en-Provence and start interning with the ICCP church. With so much ahead, and so much at present, I am brought to my knees knowing that I can not do this on my own. Nor have I ever been able to. God has been with me, is currently with me and will ALWAYS be with me, and I know that it is all to Him that I am able to breathe and learn and grow and mature here. I am humbled every day. I think I know it all at times, and that I can do things correctly without consulting God. But then, as always, I am flailing, crying out for Jesus' help, and He is faithful. I am so undeserving, and filled with awe at His faithfulness. One thing I have truly learned here is that not knowing it all is beautiful because it means that God does know all, and is in all, and Creator of all. I am secure in my unknowing because God knows all and loves me so much that He sent His Son to die for my sin. And I am forever a slave to His righteousness. Russia has taught me much, and more importantly I won't truly know how much I have learned from here until I leave and encounter the world that conflicts with how I saw it before. Please pray for me, as I face many obstacles and trials in these next months ahead. God Bless,

Aimee.